Gratitude continued...

November 25th - Black Friday - although I DO NOT participate in the madness, I am thankful it was still a good day at the shop.
November 26th - It was such a beautiful day today! It was dry, sunny, and almost 60 degrees. Perfect weather to get things done with a happy spirit!
November 27th - Cold cereal. Seriously. I.LOVE.CEREAL. My current favorite: LIFE. I have a bowl for breakfast, and usually, another bowl before bed.
November 28th - I am thankful for childhood friends like Chelsea B. She is loyal and always on "Team Emily"...she is insightful and quick to listen, slow to speak. Although we have a many miles between us, anytime I see her or we chat - instant message, email, or phone - we can always pick up right where we left off. We have been friends since we were 8...over 20 years! Today, I am grateful for her.
November 29th - Today, I am thankful for another friend, but a new friend this time! Megan. Simply put, we have traveled an identical journey in a very specific aspect of our lives. Having someone to share that journey with - and all of the ugly emotions that accompanied it, has returned sanity to my life. Our conversations together have been so validating; she is wise beyond her years. Although I may never have closure in this particular situation, the friendship that has blossomed out of our ability to relate to each other in this capacity, has given me peace and shown me what a true friend REALLY is.
November 30th - I am thankful this is the last day of this month, so tomorrow I may start anew. Refreshed, alert, motivated, and THANKFUL to be where I am :)

Attitude of Gratitude...

In lieu of Thanksgiving, which to me feels like it is approaching really REALLY quickly this year, I decided to start a gratitude journal for every day this month leading up to Thanksgiving. I will add to the draft everyday, and then post this in its entirety on Thanksgiving Day.

I believe being thankful for even the little things is important. Sometimes silly, sometimes serious, but regardless of the importance of the matter, being thankful is still a good disposition :)

I am thankful for...

November 1st - A fresh month, and pumpkin spice lattes.
2nd - Modern Family.
3rd - The beauty of love and the comfort of commitment.
4th - My new Missoni rainboots from Target.
5th - Scoring a killer deal at a cool boutique while hanging out with Paul and Kelsey. P.F. Chang's.
6th - A beautiful sunny fall afternoon spent with my most favorite people. While we were at lunch, Ty made Danny laugh so hard, he cried. These are the little moments I treasure. I love my little family.
7th - The fire hazard electric blanket that makes cozy evening cuddles possible during our nightly movie watching excursion.
8th - Breakpoint Coffee's afternoon "happy hour" - $2 on all grande drinks. This was particularly a life saver this afternoon. Hot, white mocha for $2? Yes please.
9th - DIY Craft projects that cost virtually nothing, but have a great outcome and impact!
10th - Brittany. She's the kind of friend that gets angry with me, cries for me, celebrates my joy, and encourages my success. She's a gem I tell you, a rare gem and I cannot even express how grateful I am for her in my life! The She & Him Christmas album.
11th - My loyal customers who not only helped me celebrate the boutique's 3rd anniversary today, but are the reason behind it! Danny's unwavering support - he's so proud of me and isn't afraid to tell me so. Cupcakes :)
12th - Quiet evenings IN and the quality time spent with my love. Urban Dictionary and the things we're still laughing about!
13th - Ty and the joy I'm already experiencing in anticipating our first Christmas as a little family! Tonight, we each picked out an ornament Ty picked out 3 ornaments for our tree :)
14th - Crisp, dry fall nights and a cozy little date at French Press for a $5 breakfast dinner crepe :)
15th - Tallulah. She is always happy to see me when I get home. She waits for me in the window, and greets me at the door with purrs and her billowing white fluff. I love it!
16th - Candles! They make everything smell so yummy and give off such a sense of coziness! I brought in the SKEEM candle line to the shoppe, and now I get to light one every day on my counter. MMM!
17th - Shannon. She can fight fire with fire - even if it's MY fire! She is my voice of reason in the storm, but doesn't take crap from anyone. She loves me unconditionally, as a true friend should. LOVE her.
18th - Faith and prayer.
19th - The Heritage Holiday Faire and the fun conversations I had while celebrating a friend's (surprise) birthday. Shannon and Renee, you are awesome friends and I love you both! Renee, your support in my life has been amazing. You (and our friendship) mean so much to me!
20th - The joy I get out of listening to Christmas music - especially the classics. It makes me feel jolly, peaceful, nostalgic, and content all at once :)
21st - High Tea. Today's choice, Tazo "Zen" - which always reminds me of my lovely friend Bex. She is such an amazing example of a Christian woman and mom in my life :) I admire you so much! Miss you, friend!
22nd - Paul. He is sensible and calm. Love you, brother bear :)
23rd - New stock just in time for Black Friday!
24th - A day off in the middle of the week spent with my boys...and dinner reservations! National Lampoons Christmas Vacation :)
Danny - you are the stars to my night, and the sun to my day; the rhythm to my heartbeat. My world. I love you.

Halloween 2011!

Last night, at the age of 28, I went trick-or-treating for the first time in my life! Of course, Danny and I just walked on the sidewalk while Ty ran up and rang the doorbells, but it was so much fun to brave the cold together as a little family and see all of the festivities of the evening unfold. Ty was Boba Fett, I was Princess Leia, and Danny was Darth Vader - per Ty's request. We kicked off the evening at La Margarita Express, where my brother and his girlfriend Kelsey showed up to meet us in Star Wars spirit, dressed as Chewbacca and C-3PO. Thank you both for participating - Ty absolutely LOVED it!!!!! My mom came too - but she was dressed as a Lady Bug, which was also cute. However, I am a little miffed that I did not get one single picture of Danny with-OUT the mask - which was a part of his master plan apparently, but he will pay for it at Christmas when there's nothing to hide behind but an ugly Christmas sweater :)

The cast...

Contest!!

Win 50 free custom holiday cards from Red Pearl Designs! Megan Ward is the mastermind behind Red Pearl Designs, and her work is truly stunning. Please take a look at her blog, and enter for your own chance to win her annual holiday card give-away!

http://blog.redpearldesigns.com

Good Luck :)

Here's a sneak peek of her fabulous work!

Pumpkin Lovekin.

Lets get this party started right...
Hot Chocolate. Check.
Sound of Music soundtrack on vinyl. Check.
Record player to play said record. Check.

Pumpkins, and a very VERY excited 8 year old: Check.

Power Tools: Check. Wait. What? Yes - real men carve pumpkins with a jigsaw! Oh, how I love this :)

A pattern: Check.

A master goop-scooper: Check. You rock, Alyssa!

A steady hand, a sharp object, and sheer determination: Check, check, check.

Ty's Pac-Man may or may not be my favorite!!!

My favorite boys...♥ them!

Ta-dah!

Content.

It's days like this I feel so blessed. I had a wonderful weekend spent with people I absolutely love. This morning, I woke up in a cozy bed, wrapped in the warm arms of someone who adores me. It is a crisp, cold day and despite being able to see your own breath, the sun is shining. I noticed how beautiful the leaves on the trees seem to be today as I drove to work, picking up a pumpkin spice latte on the way. I arrived at work, opened the shop, kicked on the heater and the music, and here I sit - comfy warm, enjoying the latte and a slice of warm, home-made banana bread reflecting on my life and so grateful for what I have, who I have, and where I am. It is a good, make that a GREAT day. Thank you, Lord!

Autumn Love.

Fall seemed to literally arrive overnight. One day, it's 98 degrees, the next day - overcast, misty, cool, and well, FALL. I heart Fall.

Fall is crisp. Clean. Colorful. Calm. It even smells good. Apples, pumpkin spice, that 'campfire' smell that fills the air in the evenings, cool misty mornings, warm-ish afternoons, and the kind of clear, starry sky-ed evenings that make you want to light a candle, nestle into a fuzzy blanket with your love, have a cup of tea over an intimate conversation, all while keeping the window cracked so you can smell the nights' air as it kisses your cheeks. It's romantic, it's sweet. It's my favorite.

There's something to be said about a new season. A new season in weather, a new season in fashion, a new season in life, a new season in love. Sometimes change is terrifying, sometimes whether or not we realize it at the time, change is amazing. Change of perspective, change of heart - attitude, gratitude...all of the above. A shift. I am thankful.

I am thankful for every sense of this season. I am thankful for peace. I am thankful for patience. I am thankful for forgiveness. I am thankful for love.

As we head into this new season - especially leading up to the holidays, what are you thankful for?

Favorites.

A - Asscher, although round brilliant is classic and hard to beat. Diamonds are a girl's best friend...so the saying goes.
B - Babies. Chubby, happy ones with lots of hair.
C - Cupcakes. A simple butter yellow cake batter with chocolate frosting. - My Dad's favorite too :)
D - Danny. He makes my heart beat faster.
E - Ella Fitzgerald. Classic and smooth - makes me want to slow dance in the kitchen.
F - Fall. Crisp overcast mornings, warm sun-lit afternoons, and cool evenings with the smell of the first chimney fire in the nights' air - cozy layered clothing, the changing leaves, and a chai tea in hand.
G - Gummy Bears. Gummy bear kisses might even be better :)
H - Holding Hands (double points!) Seriously though, I love it...it's just so sweet.
I - Iced Caramel Macchiatos. Starbucks - summer drink of choice.
K - Kisses. "Always kiss me goodnight"
L - London. My favorite [baby] name as of late and a place I hope to visit someday.
M - Marriage. Sacred and forever. It's my turn. See: "W"
N - National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. "She'll see it later, honey. Her eyes are frozen."
O - Organic cotton sheets and a feather down comforter.
P - Peonies, Pearls, and Persian cats.
Q - Quotes: "It is, what it is."
R - Ruby Woo - MAC lipstick. Wear it like you OWN it.
S - San Luis Obispo, CA. Perhaps one of my favorite places of all time.
T - Tyler. My favorite 8-year old and my favorite candle.
U - Urban Outfitters - because Anthropologie doesn't start with a "U"
V - Volvo. SUV.
W - Weddings. I love to attend them, not sure I actually want one - too much hullabaloo for 1 day and the thought of being the center of attention makes me panic.
X - What starts with X, anyway?
Y - Yoga. My exercise of choice - when I actually do it.
Z - Z Gallerie. Full of modern ideas and a great place to pick up wall art.

R & R

Last weekend, Danny and I headed over to Lincoln City for a little quality time, rest, and rejuvenation. *Happy sigh.* It was cool and windy - true of EVERY other time I have EVER been to the Oregon coast, but aside from the weather, it was such a fun time together. I cherished every moment. We got our fill of crusty little shell shops (would someone please explain to me - what's with the fairies?!?), delicious fish 'n chips at McMenamins, and did I mention every antique shop between Lincoln City and Newport?! YES. I love that he not only kept up with my antiquing, he equally enjoyed and encouraged it! L-O-V-E! Find of the weekend?? A 1923 "Victor Victrola Talking Machine"...SO awesome. I would post a video if I knew how, but the picture below will have to suffice. Anyway, here's a little nutshell of our weekend...

Sunset from our room...


Newport!!


A little windy, but at least there was sun!

Rogue Brewery Restaurant and Pub...before he realized I had the camera out.
How cute is he?!?!?!?!?!?!

Caught and blocked! Daniel- just embrace the camera. It will happen regardless. If you fight it, then I just post grumpy pics :)

The Victor Victrola Talking Machine we scored!! Love it :)

I look ridiculous, but I'm happy so I don't care :)

8/24

Happy Birthday, Dad! We miss you.

One Year.

Exactly one year ago today, this was my reality. I have been bracing myself for this day. This memory. This unavoidable, heart wrenching nightmare that has become the permanent certainty that my dad is gone. A year has passed since that fated night that I found him, although he died 3 days later. It's been 365 days and yet here I sit, still waiting for him to call. To email. To walk through the door. It's the little things I miss. His corny laugh when he would be talking to one of his closest friends or brothers. His quick little calls to 'check in' and see how the shop was doing or how my car was running. His nicknames for me - which are inside jokes and make no sense to the outside world or actually to me for that matter: "Zyzzybalubah" or "Jabroni," or just "Jabrone" for short. Now, Zyzzybalubah was a 1-time character on Pee Wee's Playhouse...why this nickname stuck, I have NO idea. It's not even a female character, so I'm rather confused. He thought Pee Wee Herman was hilarious, so he would watch it with us on Saturday mornings - which often times would evoke that corny laugh I mentioned a moment ago. I never got it, but man, something struck a chord in him - especially that scene in Pee Wee's Big Adventure when Pee Wee jumps up on the table and dances in white patent leather platform shoes, haha. Whatever, Dad. I remember it like it was yesterday, but in the same breath, these simple, little sweet and funny memories are fleeting.

I sit here typing this, and appropriately playing as my Ella Fitzgerald cd loops, "My Heart Belongs to Daddy"...kismet.

How would my life be different if my dad was still here? I'm not sure - more complete, perhaps. Maybe I would not have bought the boutique, maybe I still would have. Maybe I would have bought a house instead. He always told me I needed to buy a house. "Renting is like throwing money down a rat hole"...I hear ya, dad. I know. Maybe he would be living with me in that house. Who knows. Life is short and under-appreciated until it's ripped from your presence. It's STILL sinking in. I know I can't focus on what could have been, what should have been...only what's going to be. He won't be around for the unseen future - to walk me down the aisle, to hold my chubby brown-eyed babies, to see me flourish in love and life - but I can hear him in my heart and feel him in my spirit. He's up there watching over me, and proud.

Monday, Paul (my brother) and I are going to head up to Portland and celebrate him. We haven't totally pinned down the day, but it will most likely involve bridge-walking, bocci ball, and gelatto - a few of my dad's favorite things. It won't be the same without him, but it will be a good time to reflect upon our fond and fun memories...like this little trip over to Newport earlier last year. This is the last picture I took of him and one of the last times I saw him. Next time I'm back in Newport, I will order a "Panty Dropper" at the Rogue Brewery Bar and Grill and think fondly of how embarrassed I was ordering that the last time we were together :)

Portland or BUST.

Last Wednesday was Danny's birthday. After we both got off work, we headed up to Portland for the night. It was so fun to get out of Salem for a day and and spend some quality time together. We hit up Portland City Grill for a few unique appetizers and delicious drinks - complete with an amazing nighttime view of Portland's city scape.
Thursday was a beautiful day spent hand-in-hand exploring the city. We lunched at the food cart block - an entire city block designated and lined with truck after truck serving up the most delicious ethnic dishes you can imagine. It's probably the only place in the whole city where within 10 feet of each other, you can order up Japanese Yakisoba noodles and a Greek gyro - which was amazing, btw :) We walked down along the waterfront as well, and ended up joining the walking tour of Portland - a tour that focuses on the history of the city, scandals and all...ending up underground with a visual of the "Shanghai Tunnels." Creepy in a sense, but totally interesting.
The day evaporated from under us, and reality returned sending us back to Salem. It was such a great time spent together; I can't wait for our next adventure! Happy Birthday, Love :)

The view from our couch at Portland City Grill (pardon the window glare)

Silver Creek Falls, 8-2-11.

As Oregonians, we are lucky to live in a state with some of the lushest, most amazing natural scenery that exists. Tuesday, Danny, Ty, and I took a little day trip to Silver Creek Falls. It was a perfect 74 degrees, and so we took advantage and hiked a huge loop around several of the water falls! I'm no photog, but here's a little peek of our excursion :)

My Noah.

Have you seen the movie (or for you sophisticated peeps out there, read) "The Notebook"...? This movie depicts a boy named Noah, who falls passionately in love with a girl named Ali one summer - pursuing her endlessly, until she agrees to go out with him, only to fall head-over-heels in love with him in return. Summer winds to an end and they are separated by their social differences, only to be reunited years later, realizing they had never stopped loving each other. They live a long and happy life together. The movie ends with them both dying in each others embrace in their sleep together one night. Although the end is sweetly sad, the story of their love is truly beautiful. A story of love, that everyone wants, and hopes exists somewhere out there in this great, big world.

Today, I was told, "You are my Ali."

Allow me to introduce to you, my Noah...also known as, Danny :)



Sorry Babes...I know you'll read this and attempt to leave me a "snarky" comment, but the time has come. You are too sensational not to share with the WORLD - or the 10 people who follow my blog, including yourself or course! Just let it be.

..."If you're a bird, then I'm a bird."



I love you :)

Mr. Darcy.

I stumbled upon this fabulous quote from Pride and Prejudice. A quote from Mr. Darcy's proposal, no less. It struck me, so I thought I'd share.

...in vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you...

Speaking of Mr. Darcy...


What is it about that time period that makes me swoon? The romantic clothing, the old English gardens, the intricate architecture of the era - rich in red brick, crown molding, and delicately paned windows. I love it all. A time of simplicity - no electronics, no motorized transportation, no distractions. I imagine a elegant dinner party complete with silver candelabras set upon a heavy table adorned with cream linens, silver flatware and crystal stemware - toasting to happiness, prosperity, and love with French champagne, and not a single cell phone in sight.

Perhaps it is time for a holiday in the countryside, next to the lavender fields and willow trees...


Needless to say, this purchase had to happen...thank you, Etsy.
Thank goodness this quote now has personal meaning. *Happy sigh* :)

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

un·con·di·tion·al:
–adjective 1. not limited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise.

Life's journey is a tricky one. God grants us the gift of free will. I do the best I can with this gift, trying ever so carefully not to abuse or misuse it. It is human to error. Life happens, lessons are learned. What trumps human error? Grace and the capacity to set judgmental instincts aside - and love anyway.

love:
–noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

The last several weeks have truly been eye opening. I have been loved unconditionally, I have been loved conditionally, and I have lost based on those conditions. Conditions I didn't even realize existed until judgments surfaced and friends, family or otherwise decided their opinions are more accurate and validating for my future than my own happiness.

Friends, family, and total strangers have told me how proud my Dad was of me. He was proud of my life, my beauty, my strength as a woman, as a Christian, and in my success AND failures of my career endeavors. I can hear him saying now - even as a man of few words, "I raised a good kid and I'm proud of you, Em." It didn't matter if I was living in Oregon or in Arizona 1200 miles away, he told me he was proud of me...even if I wasn't proud of myself, whatever current situation I had found myself in - be it love, career, or otherwise. HE loved me. HE believed in me. HE told me I could do anything and everything I wanted to. HE was proud. I took this for granted. I had no idea how much I would need to hear those genuine words again from a parent! He will never see me carry on my life making those choices and decisions that God's gift of free will enables us to make. He can't see me fall in love, walk me down the isle, or hold my babies. I had no idea the absence I would feel over this. I want him to be a part of seeing me flourish and grow when life works, and also when it doesn't and I've failed and learned. Either way, he would have encouraged the journey.

On Father's Day, my brother and I went over to eastern Oregon and laid his ashes to rest in the water at the Head of the Metolius River, per his request. A total lack of direction through the grieving process occurred and I was left wondering how SHOULD I feel? What am I supposed to do now? A somber feeling swept over me. I can't pick up the phone and gush about my life to him anymore. He would take the time listen, and then in true "dad" fashion ask how my car was running or how the shop was. Sometimes our conversations would be only approximately 45 seconds! I never fathomed I would miss those seconds, like I do now. I miss them because of the unconditional love behind them. He just wanted me to be happy and now he's not even here to see it happening.

Good bye, Dad. I wish you could know how much I miss you.

Which came first - the chicken or the egg?

Have you ever watched a baby chick hatch out of it's little tiny egg? They work for hours and sometimes days to finally break through the thick brown shell. Once the egg fully cracks all the way through and breaks away from their tiny bodies, they muster all of the strength they can to spread their little, fragile wings - and experience space, air, and freedom for the very first time. A few more hours pass, and they fluff up to be the cutest, yellow fuzz balls you've ever seen and you think, there's no way that little, tiny, fluffy baby chick just came out of that itty, bitty egg shell?!

This analogy represents my life right now. I have spent years, exhaustively chipping through the shell of my heart, and finally, within the last 18 days, I have made a total break through. My heart has been unbound, the wings of my soul have spread, and there is no way you can un-do the growth and freedom I now have. My heart will simply not fit back into its old shell - nor would I want it to.

I took a stand for myself, and for love and I ended my 4 year relationship with my boyfriend. I refuse to settle for mediocre. I realize loving someone and being IN love with someone - are 2 completely different things. I am not willing to sacrifice the possibility of finding true love, for the habit of comfort and convenience. I shook things up. There were tears, there was drama, there is excitement, and then there was love. I couldn't have planned out the last 18 days if I had tried, but who am I to even attempt such things? God knows. He knows far more than we can begin to see or even imagine for ourselves. This is a good thing. I have hope. I have peace. My future is open. Here I stand, with my expanding heart on a platter, offering up my future to God's hands. After all, He's GOD - creator of the UNIVERSE...I'm pretty sure my plans wouldn't have stacked up to that anyway :)