Once upon a BFF.

Back in February of this year, one of my nearest and dearest childhood friends decided to end our friendship - OUT.OF.THE.BLUE. Over email. Without a single, solid reason. Her email was cold, short, and emotionless. I tried calling, I begged her in an email and voicemail to meet with me in person to talk...her house, my house, the church...it didn't matter to me, but she never even responded to any of my attempts. When she sees me at church to this day, she looks the other way. We had been close friends for almost 25 years; neighbors for probably 20 of that. Upon reading her email, I could actually hear my heart shattering in a million pieces. I have never experienced such blatant rejection in my life. It has been almost 9 months and I still struggle with this pain every day. A hole was left, so big - no patch can hold it.

Today while I was praying for her, I felt compelled to email her and let her know that I was thinking about her and praying for her. I don't know why God led me to do this, since we have had virtually no contact since her initial email at the beginning of the year, but regardless - I listened.

God has a funny way about laying things on our hearts at random times, or even using other people's unrelated situations to encourage us to do something. I pray my email to her today finds her well. I pray that perhaps it opens up a line of communication again to grant healing and closure. I wish I knew why she ended our friendship. I wish she would talk to me about it. I wish she could look me in the eye...especially when we pass each other in the halls of our church! The effect her harsh written words had on me were staggering. They left a gaping void in everything I believed about true friendship. I pray for her heart everyday and hope she can find it somewhere in her being to eventually come to me so we can both heal. I don't know if she will even respond, and if she does I realize any restoration will have to be on her terms, but here I stand - arms wide open.