Mountains Crumble...

and so does life. I have just had the sobering realization that my life is nothing like I thought it would be at the age of 27, nor is it where I want it to be. I.AM.MISERABLE. I keep thinking of the verse, "The Lord is my refuge...in time of need." It has become my mantra as of late. I know it's true and I know everything will always work out according to HIS plan, but that means it's on HIS time line, not mine. I am only human. I get impatient. I get selfish. I am lost.
I have confusion about my future with my relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. I am struggling with the relationship with my mother. I am mourning the loss of a dear childhood friend after she ended the friendship out of the blue (over email no less) for no truthful reasoning to back her decision, but refuses to talk to me about it. I am confused about the future with my job, and on top of it all, I struggle with jealousy issues when coveting the lives of my friends and wishing I was where they are...happily married, lovely homes, beautiful children, etc...
I am seeking happiness. I am searching for contentment. Contentment with MY life, WITHOUT settling to obtain it. I feel like I've let some of my standards slip as of late as a way of "compromising." What happened to free-spirited, creative, sun-loving, singing, goofy, rollerblading through the golf course sprinklers with her disc-man, Emily? Where is she? I have lost her! She was my best friend. I miss her.

PSALM 23

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

⁴ Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

AMEN!!