Over Half Way...

Last week was our anatomy scan! The babies are measuring just as they should be and look perfect! It's taken me over a week to write this though, because I am still in shock at the outcome of the gender check. We were told before by the perinatologist, that he was 70-80% sure baby A was a girl, and baby B was a boy.

Well - he was WRONG.



Those would be wieners. 2 wieners.

I am 20 weeks pregnant with twin BOYS! Haha, wow!

After taking a moment of silence to wrap my head around this new information, I have redirected my game plan, Pinterest searches, names, and nursery!

Darling things like this:

and this:

Ty and I even took a quick spin through the baby section on our last grocery shopping trip. This was my first gender-specific purchase...classic and cuddly little boy hoody sets. I love that they are not exactly matching. We want to encourage their individuality, so we will not be dressing them identically.

A dear friend gave me these too a few days ago. She said she bought these weeks ago before we even knew gender. She has 3 beautiful boys of her own, so perhaps it was her boy-mom instinct! Still in the womb and already little rockers, like dad!

Meanwhile, this is happening...



I'm so thankful for these boys and that everything is going smoothly! I've been feeling better each day for the most part and I've even started to feel them move on a daily basis - even if it's just a nudge. I still have a long way to go, but I know it will go quickly! I'm trying to savor each day, each nudge, as I count down the weeks until we get to meet these little dapper gents :)

16 Weeks and Counting!

Wow - where has the time gone?! Oh yes. It's Christmastime and we own a retail shop. Is it January yet? Oh my, haha!

We had our nuchal translucency ultrasound on Dec 2nd. It went amazingly! I met with a genetic counselor and a Perinatoligist from OHSU as well. He said and I quote, "Babies look perfect!" - music to my ears! He said there is no reason to be concerned about any genetic abnormalities and no signs of Down Syndrome or heart defects and a list of other defects and deformities that they look for at this appointment. PRAISE GOD! Here's what I saw that day...

Baby A is on top, Baby B is on the bottom!


After spending an hour with the ultrasound tech, who informed me it was too early to detect gender at just 13 weeks and 5 days pregnant, the Perinatologist came in. He plopped the doppler down and within about 6.4 seconds asked, "Do you want to know gender?" YES! He took a good peek at both babies and was able to detect with 70-80% accuracy what their little "genitalia buds" were starting to develop into! I'm not going to tell you yet because I'm going to wait until our anatomy scan on January 5th to be sure. Let's just say, I really hope he's right!!!!!

This last Thursday, I was 16 weeks pregnant. On Wednesday night, I was sitting on the couch with my legs crossed eating chips and salsa and with distinct certainty, I felt baby B move! It was exactly how everyone says it feels - a little flutter! Baby B is on my left. Then, just last night, as we were locking up the shoppe and walking out of the boutique, I felt baby A very distinctly on my right! It was amazing! I can't wait until I feel them both on a regular basis which may not be for awhile still. These early weeks, movement will be really inconsistent and sporadic. I have 2 anterior placentas too, which means the thickest part of both placentas is facing outward, so it will be even longer until I (or anyone else) can feel their movement from the outside.

Everyone says second trimester is amazing and that nausea ends and your energy returns...I'm not quite there yet. I'm hoping that after the stress of owning a retail shoppe in the midst of the holiday season is over, that maybe this will be true! I'm closer than I was...more good days than nauseous ones at least! I'll take it!

All in all, things are going really smoothly! I can't wait until January 5th, when we can take another long look at them and really see gender for sure! I have been so good and haven't bought anything yet. I take that back, I bought a Solly Baby Wrap on Cyber Monday, - but that's it! I've been waiting to know for sure before doing any clothing or nursery related purchasing. BTW, the Solly Baby Wrap is awesome - I tried it out with a Cabbage Patch Doll (hilarious, right?) to make sure I could do it somewhat properly. I took a picture, but I'll spare you my ridiculousness. Ty suggested trying it with the cat, but I didn't want my beautiful new wrap all hairy and shredded before the babies get here :)

I promise a good belly shot in my next post! I'm rather rotund already and I'm not even half way there!! Eek!

June Bugs

I know, I know, this is LONG overdue. I'm sorry. With so much anticipation, excitement, and nervousness - on top of running a boutique entering the holiday season, this was the one thing I kept putting off. Thank you for all of the concern and sweet texts, messages, and prayers!! Here is what we shared with the world yesterday morning...

"We have so much to be thankful for everyday, but today we get to share this with you! We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of 2 little bugs due this June! Happy Thanksgiving! ‪#‎JuneBugs"


We had our first fetal ultrasound on October 14th. Even the doctor called it a "Halloween Face" haha...

Both embryos took! This was the first image we got of them. Here, I was only 6 1/2 weeks pregnant and the babies were the size of blueberries. However, with the miracle that is technology, we heard and saw 2 strong, fast, healthy heartbeats! Music to my ears!

We went back a few weeks later, on November 3rd, and got a second peek to make sure everyone was still looking good...


At only 9 1/2 weeks, this was the close up on one of them. Keep in mind the baby is the size of a grape here...AMAZING.


Again, we heard 2 healthy, strong heartbeats! Praise God! This appointment was bittersweet for me though, as it was our last appointment with the fertility doctor and his wonderful staff! I feel like they've been such a huge part of this journey, it was a little sad leaving the clinic that day knowing they wouldn't carry out my care with the rest of this pregnancy. We took a picture with Dr. Stoelk and his rockstar of a nurse, Milly! Love you guys! I promise we'll be back with the babies in tow!

Look at these cute onesies they gave us! "NWFC Baby" (Northwest Fertility Clinic)

After Dr. Stoelk released me over to a regular OB, I was able to get in just 10 days later. She did another ultrasound that I wasn't expecting. I was exactly 11 weeks pregnant at this appointment. She said the babies look perfect and I was going to "rock this twin thing"...yay!

She got a shot of each baby individually here...the baby on the bottom looks like a baby, but the verdict is out for the baby in the top picture. Sea Lion? Squirrel? Haha. I took me forever to see it, but the baby is on its head :)

I have another ultrasound (a nuchal translucency ultrasound) on Tuesday at the hospital. It's a newer ultrasound where they take a really close look at the babies, looking for early signs of Down Syndrome and heart defects. They have to do this particular ultrasound before 14 weeks, because the baby's skin is still translucent, and they can see so much more this early. I will also meet with a genetic counselor and a Periontologist from OHSU too. My doctor says this is all standard, so I'm not worried, however it's a 4 hour appointment! It is still too early to detect gender with much accuracy, but I will schedule THAT appointment with them when I'm there. I still haven't bought ANYTHING so I'm really quite excited to find out what we're having! Several months ago before I was even pregnant, I had a dream that I was pregnant with twin girls. The twin part came true - maybe just maybe it's 2 girls :)

Last, but not least - here's a belly shot of me from yesterday after our Thanksgiving feast aboard the Portland Spirit dinner cruise! Can I get an AMEN for paneled maternity pants?! YES!

With full bellies and full hearts, Happy Thanksgiving from the 5 of us!

2 Grains of Rice and a Few Pickles Too...

Friday, September 26th, I went back in for the follow-up beta test to make sure my hCG level doubled...and it did! 445! The doctor said with confidence, there was no need to retest again before the ultrasound unless I request to. Rather than drive myself insane with unnecessary pokes and prods, I decided to proceed ahead with the hopeful anticipation everything is normal and we'll see a heartbeat or two soon!

I've remained on my daily injection of Progesterone, which is still not my favorite, but it's not forever. The doctor will re-run my Progesterone levels at the ultrasound appointment to see if I can start scaling back. It sounds like I might only need them another 4-5 weeks anyway, so what's another 28 shots when I've already done 18...

Earlier this week this pregnancy started to feel a little more real...the nausea started!! No complaints here - this is a great sign! Luckily, it comes and goes, but more than anything, I'm experiencing food aversion. Foods that I've always loved I can't even stand the sight of, and foods that I don't usually eat - let alone crave, I find myself needing, like, RIGHT NOW. I didn't think such things started this early, but after I ate a tuna sandwich for breakfast a few days ago and suddenly gag at the idea of coffee, I believe it. Shamefully, I admit that the last 3 nights I have wanted (and eaten) Wendy's for dinner. Not healthy I know, so don't go preachin' to the choir, but it was seriously the ONLY thing in the world that I thought I could handle...a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger and fries, with an icy glass of milk. Gross. I know. But it was so very delicious! And then there was the pickle incident...I may or may not have eaten half a jar of pickles in one sitting...so apparently, that really IS a thing!

Today, I am exactly 6 weeks pregnant. The babies have had beating hearts for a couple of weeks already! Although they are only the size of a grain of rice, they are still highly developed...my cool phone app showed me this today...


It is so amazing to me that something the size of a grain of rice can have this much complex function and detail...and life! I am humbled by this little miracle.

Our "heartbeat" ultrasound is next Tuesday, October 14th. I am excited and nervous. I have no idea what the outcome of this appointment may be - I don't really have a strong "gut" feeling either way. Last time the embryo did not make it to this point of the pregnancy and there was no heartbeat at this ultrasound back in January, so this appointment is monumental - to both of us. We are both much more optimistic this round - especially since I'm already having symptoms this time! I guess the question really now is: one or two, one or two...? EEK! God already knows and he'll let us in on his little secret in just 5 more days. 5 more days!

Poppy Seeds

Yesterday was a surreal day.

I drove up to Portland bright and early with my mom who kept me company on the drive. The blood draw was really quick, but the drive was not, so it was nice to have conversation to take my mind off of the wait.

At 1:03pm, "Northwest Fertility" flashed on my caller I.D. Danny was standing close by as I answered with a shaking hand.

"Hello, Emily, it's Dr. Stoelk"...within these first 5 words, I could tell by his tone it was good news. I still nearly hyperventilated. Danny whispered something to the effect of, "calm down and breathe"...(I'm pretty sure I had my "ugly cry" face on at this moment)...He continued, "Congratulations, your pregnancy test was positive with nice and strong, high numbers!" Oh, thank God!!!!!! For those of you that understand the importance of these numbers: my hCG level was 176 and my progesterone was 37! To put it in perspective, last time my hCG was 16 and progesterone was a 4, and we all know how that ended. Anyway, Dr. Stoelk is a realist (which I really appreciate) and reminded me that it's still early and although these are solid, positive numbers, there's always a small chance of miscarriage as with any typical pregnancy.

As of today, I am 4 weeks pregnant! My baby(ies) are the size of a poppy seed! Speaking of poppy seeds, after my last blog in which a ranted about cake, my dear friend Lea showed up yesterday at the shoppe with a delicious piece of poppy seed cake from the Konditerei to celebrate! Bless her. It was just what I needed! Yes, NEEDED. Ok?! Haha. Anyway - here's a little chart that calculates a 5-day transfer...


Danny and I decided that Ty was old enough to decide how much he wanted to be included. Back in January when we miscarried, Ty was devastated. We talked about not telling him this time, but the kid is just too perceptive and nothing gets by those little ears. We asked him how much he wants to know this time...wait and be surprised when it was good news (like 2nd trimester safe) or did he want to know about our appointments and be included in the process - simplified to an 11 year old version, of course. He really thought about it and declared that he wanted to know...everything. Dates, tests, and results. Last night, we gave him this...

He was so excited he slipped it on right over his jammies. I washed it last night per his request and he proudly wore it to school today! He put in his "order" for twins - one of each, and I quote, "so I can have both a little brother and a little sister. That would be perfect." He is so sweet. I die. Danny on the other hand, is not hoping for twins, but at least we have a few more weeks until we need to worry about that :)

My progesterone levels were solid this time, but it is pretty standard to supplement additionally with fertility patients, so I will be on progesterone oil by intramuscular injection, daily, for about 6 more weeks. That needle goes ALL the way in, folks. This is not my favorite, but I'm happy to do it. Milly, the awesome nurse at our fertility clinic, drew targets on both sides of my hips yesterday with a Sharpie, so Danny can't miss. We went a little low the first time on our own and I am currently sporting a softball-sized bruise. The progesterone oil is a little brutal. My hips and the sides of my bum are very sore. If you see me hobbling around, this is why :) Nothing I can't handle though!


We have one more blood test tomorrow, just to make sure my hCG level doubles. After that, if things looks good there, it sounds like we wait a few weeks until our first fetal ultrasound in which we will be looking and listening for a heartbeat...or TWO!

Thank you for every prayer, every text, every word of encouragement. We feel blessed to already have such a huge support system - and our journey is really just beginning!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Embies x 2...

Tuesday, September 16th, was a big day. We did our first Frozen Embryo Transfer!

To be honest, the appointment itself was rather ordinary. We were in the office a total of 30 minutes, 20 of which was spent just laying flat afterwards. I was telling Danny, as significant and life-changing of an appointment that it is, it really is a very simple, mundane appointment! The transfer itself went so quickly, then he sends you on your way with a "see you next week"...what? It's that easy? No fan fair? No applause? No balloons? No cake? We just put 2 babies inside my body, people!! People keep asking me how I'm feeling? Well, to be honest, I feel nothing! Of course I wouldn't feel anything physically yet, but I don't really feel anything emotionally either. I'm driving in neutral. I suppose that's a good way of guarding my heart, but talk about anti-climactic! At least serve cake...

Anyway, speaking of cake - a FET is a total cake walk. No pain, no bloating, no injections, not much of anything. It was a classic, text book transfer, and for that we are grateful. Here's my doctor (love him!) pointing out the embryos in the tip of the catheter...it's really just a clear straw. Didn't even feel it!

And here are our beautiful, bouncing baby embies! Nestle in my darlings...snuggle up. Mama's got you...

The embryologist came out with our pictures and again explained what we were looking at. They can ALREADY tell the parts of an embryo. Keep in mind, these embryos are only 6 days old. I repeat: 6 days. They were originally fertilized December 5, 2013 and frozen on December 10th, after 5 days in an incubator doing their cellular division and multiplying. I had 15 embryos in the freezer, they took out 2, and the first 2 were these beauties. It only takes them about 40 minutes to thaw, so upon thawing, last Tuesday adds a day in embryo time, so they were 6 days old going in.

Here is a little info on what you're looking at. The embryologist said the one on the right hadn't fully plumped back up in this image, but by the time they entered the catheter, they both looked full and healthy like the one on the left.

You can see the mass of cells that actually becomes the baby. Can you say, MIRACLE? Amazing. Although, this journey hasn't been the most romantic and fun, I can say with certainty, it has been a fascinating one. I would do it again in a heart beat. Not everyone gets a picture of your babies as embryos!! #mindblown

Our first blood draw is Wednesday, the 24th and we'll know yes or no. If it's positive, we won't be able to tell if it's twins or a single pregnancy until about 6 weeks out. Danny is panicking, so we aren't using the "t" word, just yet. There is a 40% chance of twins however. I say, come what may - God knows what we can handle! He's saying...yes, and God knows we can only handle 1. We'll see, we'll see :)

June 28th...

Today would have been my due date if I had not miscarried from the fresh IVF cycle last December. It’s really hard to believe this much time has passed. There have been many ups and downs, but ultimately I have a peace knowing that that itty bitty baby wasn’t meant to be ours and God has a bigger and better plan for the future of our little family.

So much has happened in the last 9 months - but the biggest I’d say, is Danny leaving his job with T Mobile and working with me at the boutique all summer while he pursues a new career in real estate! I am so proud of him! He is going to ROCK it! He’s really excited about this transition too, so I know it was the right decision. Way to go, babe – you’re totally going to ACE the test and this career! I'm so proud that you are pursuing something new that you're excited about and you were courageous enough to step out and do it! It will be amazing!

With all of the exciting transitions happening over the summer, we decided to postpone all things “baby” until September. Well, the summer has flown by and September is just days away. We will head back up to Portland to see our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) in a couple of weeks for an ultrasound to see if my body is ready to proceed with the Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). We were already given the projected date of our FET, but there are a few variables that could change this, so I will wait until after the ultrasound before I count on it.

Making the decision of when to proceed with this journey was not one we made lightly. I really wrestled with fear surrounding this decision this time around. Over the last several months, I have felt a certain weight or burden of responsibility in choosing when to continue. I’ve struggled feeling like I am in too much control of a situation that usually happens like a surprise naturally. I know beyond showing up and proceeding with the FET, we have no control whatsoever of the outcome. It might work, it might not. We know this going in. It’s in God’s hands. He sees the big picture. I do not. He knows my future child by name and what he/she will look like. I do not. He sees the full picture and the reason for this journey that he has pre-destined for us; the full story that he designed – just for us. I do know it will be beautiful and I know it will be better than I am capable of imagining for myself. I know that he promises to never give us more than we can handle and he promises to provide for us. I’m holding on to those promises and it has given me the peace I need to feel confident in moving forward next month.

As September approaches, I can say with certainty that excitement is finally starting to outweigh anxiety. After months of waiting, waiting, and more waiting, it’s starting to feel real! The funny thing is, the waiting really is just beginning…waiting for the FET, waiting for the first blood test, then another blood test, then possibly another, then the ultrasound for a heartbeat...and the list grows on. This is just the beginning!

I will post more frequently when there is news to post…most likely the second week of September. Thank you for the love and support and encouragement as we keep plugging along!

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8