Hurry Up and Wait...

Our first pregnancy test was yesterday. To put it simply, we just don't know yet.

We went in really early yesterday for the blood test, testing my hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) and Progesterone levels. I got a call a few hours later. The doctor's assistant who also happens to be his daughter (I love how small and family focused this clinic is!) called to tell me my pregnancy test was POSITIVE. She quickly added, that my Progesterone levels were VERY low, so I needed to come back in immediately for a shot of Progesterone. Progesterone is the hormone our bodies naturally produce during pregnancy to help with implantation of the embryo and sustaining the pregnancy. Luckily, we were still in Portland, so we hopped back in the car and drove back over to their office.

Now, let me tell you about these Progesterone Oil shots. THEY.ARE.MISERABLE. I got one of these on transfer day and my whole butt cheek and leg throbbed for 3 days. Imagine a body builder of a man punching you straight on the side of your hip/butt cheek. Dead leg! It doesn't look bruised, but it feels like it! Well, I went back in yesterday and got one in EACH side. She also sent an additional one home for Danny to give me today. That's 3 in 24 hours. Ugh. When we went back in, I asked her the details of my levels. She said, they like to see Progesterone levels at 20+. Mine was at 4. Then I asked her about the hCG level - she said mine was a 16.2 and that was on the lower side too, but anything over a 5 is considered a positive test. Ok! I felt pretty good about that! So, I started calling family and my immediate friends to update them that I was pregnant. I was still in shock, but everyone knew Wednesday was test day, so they were checking in wanting to know.

This morning my phone rings at 7:30am, - it's Dr Stoelk. He called so he could explain in detail his concern with my levels upon this first test.

Ok.

He said I have what they refer to as a "barely there" pregnancy. They like to see the hCG level over 30 at this point...mine was just over half of that, at 16. He says I registered as "pregnant" but the levels should double every 2 days at this point, so we really won't know anything until they retest Friday morning. So, I go back up first thing tomorrow. If my hCG doubles, that's great news, but that just means we continue with more waiting and more testing. If the number does not increase, then the pregnancy is most likely a false positive and not viable. He told me that hCG is the hormone that is produced by the placenta. If the baby is growing, then so does the placenta, then the number naturally increases. If if doesn't increase, well - you get it. He said he has seen women test as low as 7 before and it turned into a viable pregnancy, so anything is possible, but he was also clear not to get my hopes up until we are able to give it more time and see the test results - especially tomorrow's test.

So...in the words of Dr. Stoelk, "Once again, we hurry up and wait." In all honestly, that should be the slogan of IVF.

We will know a lot more by tomorrow afternoon, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a little defeated tonight. My patience is waning. Quickly. I just want to know either way. I'm tired. I'm weary. I'm done. I know God has a plan regardless of the outcome, and I am encouraged to know we have 15 embryos waiting in the freezer for us, but I just want to be happy and excited and I just can't be. Not yet anway. One more step. One more day...