Waiting to Exhale.

Today I would have been 24 weeks pregnant - over half way there. We would know the gender, we would have started the nursery, I would have a nice round baby bump by now, but God had others plans. Tomorrow is our 2nd wedding anniversary and the 3rd anniversary from the day we met. Time has flown by, but at the same time we have been through so very much in our short time together, that it almost seems longer than that. Much longer. The last few months have been harder than I would have ever anticipated as we sensed God's work in our lives as we re-prioritize our marriage - bringing back into focus His plans for us as a couple first and foremost, and being a parent and step-parent to Ty, who just turned 11 by the way!

Going through IVF, quickly followed by a miscarriage is physically, emotionally, and spiritually straining and draining and it is so easy to quickly lose sight of each other in the thick of it. We needed some time to reconnect and refocus before jumping back in and taking the next step with bringing a baby into our little family. We don't honestly know the exact timing of things as we move forward, but we know God sees the bigger picture and has perfect timing for our family's future. I am learning to seek Him in all circumstances and trust His plan for our lives. He is teaching me daily - I repeat, DAILY - to rely on Him and that HE is in control, NOT ME. I have always been the type that likes to be in control and have a plan - "type A" if you will. Through this journey over the last several months, He has taught me so much about releasing that control to Him because truthfully, there's very little I am actually in control of anyway. Patience is a virtue. I am learning. I am not perfect, and some days I learn the hard way that I need to hand it over to Him and let Him do his job because all things work together for good. I am trying my best to seek His will and release it - casting my cares onto Him and praying for a little peace in the meantime as we continue to wait. He knows the desires of my heart more than anyone else, and I choose to believe His timing, His plan, and His purpose will be beautiful.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28.