Operation Baby Johnston - Week 2.

Today is the beginning of week 2. I counted it out, and the entire process from the first hormone pill, until the embryos are transferred back into my uterus, is about 10 weeks; 12 weeks until I know if I'm pregnant or not, but 10 sounds a little better because now I have 9 weeks left and that's a single digit. Anyway, I have been on the hormone Estradiol for 1 week now. I think this is a hormone that is usually given to women going through menopause. From my understanding, he started me on this to balance everything out from my uterine surgery about 10 days ago - which I have fully recovered from, by the way. I don't know for sure on the hormone, maybe everyone going through IVF takes it...? I guess I should have asked more questions because to be honest, I'm not sure what its purpose is. Well anyway, I've been on it for a week now, and so far, I feel great - totally normal. Ok, so maybe a little more tired than usual, but that is it!

My goal through this entire process is to remain positive. It is such a blessing that we get to even travel this journey and I know there will be parts of it that will be rather unpleasant, but if I can focus on the fact that every step of the next 10 9 weeks brings us closer to a baby, then that IS my light at the end of the tunnel. I plan to be honest and real about the process, but I believe that whatever this journey throws at me, I can handle it if I have a beautiful, healthy baby at the end of it.

Pause. Rewind. Re-read that last sentence. What if this doesn't work? What if I put my body through this and I don't get pregnant? What if I do get pregnant and then I miscarry? How devastating! These are the fears I am struggling with. Negative "what ifs" - yes, but realistic fears any woman walking in my shoes might inevitably face. I have been praying continually for peace and the success of this on the very first round. I have been praying those fears can be dissolved because GOD IS BIGGER. I know many of my friends and family are praying for us because everyone has been so wonderful in telling me so! I am truly thankful for all of the kind words and encouragement! I am also thankful for those of you who have already walked this journey and have been open in talking about it with me. Thank you to those of you who have come forward and shared your experience and perspective with me - you have renewed my hope and excitement time and time again. Seeing your beautiful babies that were made possible by the modern day miracle of IVF, has given me the inspiration and desire to do this - one step at a time.

For those of you who aren't sure how to help or what to say, prayer is really the best support. Pray for the same things we are praying for: peace, patience, and success the first round! We pray that by this time next year, we will be completing Operation Baby Johnston and bringing home a beautiful, healthy baby (or 2)!

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.