Mountains Crumble...

and so does life. I have just had the sobering realization that my life is nothing like I thought it would be at the age of 27, nor is it where I want it to be. I.AM.MISERABLE. I keep thinking of the verse, "The Lord is my refuge...in time of need." It has become my mantra as of late. I know it's true and I know everything will always work out according to HIS plan, but that means it's on HIS time line, not mine. I am only human. I get impatient. I get selfish. I am lost.
I have confusion about my future with my relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. I am struggling with the relationship with my mother. I am mourning the loss of a dear childhood friend after she ended the friendship out of the blue (over email no less) for no truthful reasoning to back her decision, but refuses to talk to me about it. I am confused about the future with my job, and on top of it all, I struggle with jealousy issues when coveting the lives of my friends and wishing I was where they are...happily married, lovely homes, beautiful children, etc...
I am seeking happiness. I am searching for contentment. Contentment with MY life, WITHOUT settling to obtain it. I feel like I've let some of my standards slip as of late as a way of "compromising." What happened to free-spirited, creative, sun-loving, singing, goofy, rollerblading through the golf course sprinklers with her disc-man, Emily? Where is she? I have lost her! She was my best friend. I miss her.

PSALM 23

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

⁴ Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

AMEN!!

New Pet Peeves

Will someone please explain to me the fascination that some people (mostly women) have with watching the food network at the gym? Seriously. Who wants to watch Rachel Ray whip up a fabulously juicy 30 minute meal DURING the dinner hour WHILE on the treadmill? Not this girl. Sure, maybe watching Paula Dean start every recipe with a stick of butter is motivating to some people, but quite honestly, it just makes me hungry and distracted from the task at hand...burning OFF the calories that got me to the gym in the first place - NOT collecting dinner ideas.

Another pet peeve that absolutely KILLS me is when someone is next to me on the treadmill and decides talking on their cell phone is somehow appropriate. Not, just a quick, "Hey, I'm at the gym" call, but a full fledged personal conversation. Really, people? If you are at the gym, I assume you're there to exercise. I will also assume that you're not exercising very efficiently because you're clearly able to slow down the treadmill and remain un-winded by the conversation. Even with turning up my headphones, I get so annoyed I can actually feel my ears burning and the dirty looks I'm throwing aren't helping either. It is this moment that I am tempted to reach over and increase the speed on their treadmill. Ha! There. Keep up with that! Good grief.

Ok. That's all. :)

Tick Tock

Babies are everywhere. Most of my friends have already entered this stage of life...some of which are already on round 2. In fact, just a few short hours ago this very day, one of my besties gave birth to a beautiful baby boy...Finley Benjamin. Congrats Shan, I couldn't be happier for you :)

Now, I would be lying if I said I wasn't feeling "baby fever" myself these days. You know, that annoying little "tick-tock" sound that your uterus makes? Yeah, that's the one. I'm definitely not ready yet. I'd like to get married, buy a house, have a little nest egg, etc. before even thinking about having a baby, but I still can't help thinking about it. A LOT. I may or may not have already named all 3 of them. Haha. Yes, I'd like 3. Girl, Boy, then surprise me. I know it doesn't work that way - putting your "order" in and all, but in a perfect world, it would be that easy. I know however it works out though, God has planned it out for me, so I'll be happy and blessed no matter what. At the same time, I can't help but be excited about it though! I'm totally fascinated by the stages of fetal development too. I've studied it quite a bit through many of my pre-nursing courses, which is most likely the driving force behind the interest. I think it is such an amazing process - a 9 month miracle - and I can't wait to experience it myself someday. Meanwhile, I will be content playing the role of "Auntie Em" and living vicariously through all of my friends and their mommyhood experiences. To all of my "nieces" and "nephews," I love you!

Dreaming of Summer...

I'm sitting here at the boutique, looking out of my front windows at yet another "bi-polar" weather day. Only in Oregon do you use the a/c and the heater both in a matter of hours. It's almost May, and it's about this time every year, that I am absolutely dying for warmth and sun. DYING. My insides are literally screaming for the change. I'm flipping through one of my favorite fashion magazines looking at all of the fabulous spring styles and I'm thinking, "Ooh, that's gorgeous...can't wear it until July. Oh, I love that...but I'd have to wear a sweater with it though because my arms would freeze. That is delicious, but it would look ridiculous sticking out the bottom of a coat. LOVE IT, but I'd have to lose 10 pounds to pull it off." Ok, so that last one is my own fault, but STILL! I need SUN SUN SUN.

Now let me clarify...I am not a "sun-worshiper" mind you. Every single one of us should know by now that UVA/UVB rays are our #1 enemy when it comes to skin care and aging. I do everything in my power to protect myself from these elements, as should you...SPF 15 minimum, ladies! AND please do not tell me that you still go to the tanning beds. AHHH! I will lecture you. Trust me, you'll pay for it later in life and believe me when I say, no one wants to look like a weathered leather bag in their 40's or 50's. We have so many fabulous faux tan and bronzing products available to us now, that there is no excuse to actually be damaging your skin with the real stuff when you can fake it, baby!

Ok, so that was a tangent...but an important one!

Anyway, I crave sun based solely on the emotional need! It truly lifts the spirit! Don't you just feel like skipping, when it's warm and sunny out? Gosh, I long to be a kid again on those first few warm days of summer. I feel like I could kick off my jellies and do a cartwheel on the first patch of green grass I see. Simple times, simple pleasures.

Well, you won't catch me doing back flips outside the boutique anytime soon, but I do allow myself another little indulgence I like to refer to as: "RETAIL THERAPY"...works like a charm. If you know me personally, you know how true this is (until the bill comes, but that's another entry entirely, ha.) So, what is my vice as of late? Turquoise and Coral, and anything nautical-inspired. I cannot get enough. It started in January when I purchased a simple little brass charm bracelet and matching necklace featuring an anchor and a tiny turquoise stone charm. It's funny how something so little can trigger an obsession! Love it! I consider myself a pretty creative person, so I am always looking for ways to incorporate my latest fetish into my existing wardrobe. It feels so great to add a little something new to totally change a look. That's where the creative challenge kicks in for me though. Incorporating in new pieces without spending a fortune. Easier said than done my friend...especially when my favorite things of the moment are always changing. It's the revolving door that is fashion...but I think that's the fun of it! Keeps me on my toes or flats, so to speak. What will my NEXT little quirky obsession be? That is the question!

All of this to say, figure out what simple pleasures in life make you happy, and make it happen. Step out of your box - or in our case, step out from under your umbrella - and rejuvenate yourself. Pick a NEW favorite and run with it. Maybe it will come in the form of an entire outfit, maybe just toe nail polish. Whatever it is, reinvent yourself...one cartwheel at a time :)

Road Trip!

My Mother...in a penny-pinching nutshell.

I am preparing to leave on a week-long, California road trip first thing tomorrow morning...which I am incredibly excited about :) My boyfriend Tommy and my brother Paul are joining me. We are planning to leave around 5am, with a pretty specific schedule ahead of us. We have all of our destinations mapped out, so we arrive in time to meet all of our standing reservations. Of course, getting away for a few days can never be complication-free...

So, my mom comes by the boutique today with $20 and a Costco coupon for $1.50 off beverage napkins. You read that correctly. BEVERAGE NAPKINS.

She wants us (while on vacation, mind you) to stop by Costco in California and pick these napkins up for her because the Salem store does not carry them, but she saw them advertised and has decided they have become an absolute necessity. Apparently, she has a square shaped basket that these napkins happen to fit perfectly in. She also told me, she "will not take "no" for an answer" because she'd "do it for us." Now, the coupon expires tomorrow, so we must go first thing on our way down. But don't worry...she'll make it up to us by buying us lunch from Costco's hot dog bar at $1.35 per person. MMM, can't wait.

And by the way, isn't California tax like 10% anyway? Even with the coupon, we'll barely be breaking even! She made it a point to tell my brother the same thing and on top of that, has taken it upon herself to actually call the Redding and Fresno Costco stores to MAKE SURE they carry them. Really, mom? Really? We're still talking about napkins, right? Now, what is special about these napkins, you ask? NOTHING. They are white, square napkins probably sold by the thousands at Walmart, IKEA, Target, or any other grocery establishment - for the same price. The good news is, not only will we save her a whole dollar fifty (which I was really sweating) but we'll also have the pleasure of carting 1,000 little white beverage napkins around the rest of the trip.

Oh, glory.

Yep, that's my mom :)