Thursday, September 25, 2014

Poppy Seeds

Yesterday was a surreal day.

I drove up to Portland bright and early with my mom who kept me company on the drive. The blood draw was really quick, but the drive was not, so it was nice to have conversation to take my mind off of the wait.

At 1:03pm, "Northwest Fertility" flashed on my caller I.D. Danny was standing close by as I answered with a shaking hand.

"Hello, Emily, it's Dr. Stoelk"...within these first 5 words, I could tell by his tone it was good news. I still nearly hyperventilated. Danny whispered something to the effect of, "calm down and breathe"...(I'm pretty sure I had my "ugly cry" face on at this moment)...He continued, "Congratulations, your pregnancy test was positive with nice and strong, high numbers!" Oh, thank God!!!!!! For those of you that understand the importance of these numbers: my hCG level was 176 and my progesterone was 37! To put it in perspective, last time my hCG was 16 and progesterone was a 4, and we all know how that ended. Anyway, Dr. Stoelk is a realist (which I really appreciate) and reminded me that it's still early and although these are solid, positive numbers, there's always a small chance of miscarriage as with any typical pregnancy.

As of today, I am 4 weeks pregnant! My baby(ies) are the size of a poppy seed! Speaking of poppy seeds, after my last blog in which a ranted about cake, my dear friend Lea showed up yesterday at the shoppe with a delicious piece of poppy seed cake from the Konditerei to celebrate! Bless her. It was just what I needed! Yes, NEEDED. Ok?! Haha. Anyway - here's a little chart that calculates a 5-day transfer...


Danny and I decided that Ty was old enough to decide how much he wanted to be included. Back in January when we miscarried, Ty was devastated. We talked about not telling him this time, but the kid is just too perceptive and nothing gets by those little ears. We asked him how much he wants to know this time...wait and be surprised when it was good news (like 2nd trimester safe) or did he want to know about our appointments and be included in the process - simplified to an 11 year old version, of course. He really thought about it and declared that he wanted to know...everything. Dates, tests, and results. Last night, we gave him this...

He was so excited he slipped it on right over his jammies. I washed it last night per his request and he proudly wore it to school today! He put in his "order" for twins - one of each, and I quote, "so I can have both a little brother and a little sister. That would be perfect." He is so sweet. I die. Danny on the other hand, is not hoping for twins, but at least we have a few more weeks until we need to worry about that :)

My progesterone levels were solid this time, but it is pretty standard to supplement additionally with fertility patients, so I will be on progesterone oil by intramuscular injection, daily, for about 6 more weeks. That needle goes ALL the way in, folks. This is not my favorite, but I'm happy to do it. Milly, the awesome nurse at our fertility clinic, drew targets on both sides of my hips yesterday with a Sharpie, so Danny can't miss. We went a little low the first time on our own and I am currently sporting a softball-sized bruise. The progesterone oil is a little brutal. My hips and the sides of my bum are very sore. If you see me hobbling around, this is why :) Nothing I can't handle though!


We have one more blood test tomorrow, just to make sure my hCG level doubles. After that, if things looks good there, it sounds like we wait a few weeks until our first fetal ultrasound in which we will be looking and listening for a heartbeat...or TWO!

Thank you for every prayer, every text, every word of encouragement. We feel blessed to already have such a huge support system - and our journey is really just beginning!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23


Thursday, September 18, 2014

Embies x 2...

Tuesday, September 16th, was a big day. We did our first Frozen Embryo Transfer!

To be honest, the appointment itself was rather ordinary. We were in the office a total of 30 minutes, 20 of which was spent just laying flat afterwards. I was telling Danny, as significant and life-changing of an appointment that it is, it really is a very simple, mundane appointment! The transfer itself went so quickly, then he sends you on your way with a "see you next week"...what? It's that easy? No fan fair? No applause? No balloons? No cake? We just put 2 babies inside my body, people!! People keep asking me how I'm feeling? Well, to be honest, I feel nothing! Of course I wouldn't feel anything physically yet, but I don't really feel anything emotionally either. I'm driving in neutral. I suppose that's a good way of guarding my heart, but talk about anti-climactic! At least serve cake...

Anyway, speaking of cake - a FET is a total cake walk. No pain, no bloating, no injections, not much of anything. It was a classic, text book transfer, and for that we are grateful. Here's my doctor (love him!) pointing out the embryos in the tip of the catheter...it's really just a clear straw. Didn't even feel it!

And here are our beautiful, bouncing baby embies! Nestle in my darlings...snuggle up. Mama's got you...

The embryologist came out with our pictures and again explained what we were looking at. They can ALREADY tell the parts of an embryo. Keep in mind, these embryos are only 6 days old. I repeat: 6 days. They were originally fertilized December 5, 2013 and frozen on December 10th, after 5 days in an incubator doing their cellular division and multiplying. I had 15 embryos in the freezer, they took out 2, and the first 2 were these beauties. It only takes them about 40 minutes to thaw, so upon thawing, last Tuesday adds a day in embryo time, so they were 6 days old going in.

Here is a little info on what you're looking at. The embryologist said the one on the right hadn't fully plumped back up in this image, but by the time they entered the catheter, they both looked full and healthy like the one on the left.


You can see the mass of cells that actually becomes the baby. Can you say, MIRACLE? Amazing. Although, this journey hasn't been the most romantic and fun, I can say with certainty, it has been a fascinating one. I would do it again in a heart beat. Not everyone gets a picture of your babies as embryos!! #mindblown

Our first blood draw is Wednesday, the 24th and we'll know yes or no. If it's positive, we won't be able to tell if it's twins or a single pregnancy until about 6 weeks out. Danny is panicking, so we aren't using the "t" word, just yet. There is a 40% chance of twins however. I say, come what may - God knows what we can handle! He's saying...yes, and God knows we can only handle 1. We'll see, we'll see :)